I think that both of these questions are great ones to answer.
I've had several mother figures in my life; my mom, my grandmother, Susan, Denise, and my mother in law.
First of all, my own mother's roll can never be replaced. She's still the one I want to talk to when I'm going through something hard. She cares more for me than any other woman probably cares. She cares for my sincere happiness. I have never felt like I could truly disappoint her. Maybe the only way is by the way that I treat her. Any decisions I make she has never loved me any less. We have definitely had to work through some things and will still have to work through some hard things but our relationship is growing. I used to think our relationship was hard and in many ways still is, but the last little while I've been able to feel like the daughter again in our relationship. She has been able to help me with some things and has done so with holding back nothing. Something I will always say of my mother is that she is generous. Ever since I have known her I have seen this attribute. Anything she has she has wanted to give. She wants to keep nothing for herself. Such an example of something I can desperately be better at. She has also instilled in me a testimony and knowledge of my heavenly father. My mom has NOT had a very easy going life, possibly due to decisions. But she has always known the church to be true. Whether or not we were actively attending I always knew she had a testimony. She also knew the importance of families and kept us together and as close as we could be. She has never wanted us to lack in anything and has made many sacrifices to be sure of that. I love my mom and know that her influence in my life has led me to be a better person.
Moving in with my grandma at age 13 was a huge blessing in my life. It led me to having a stronger testimony of the Church and having a stronger work ethic and just way of life. There were many blessings that came from this decision. There were hard times for sure. There were times that I would try to be helpful and do my best and feel like it wasn't enough but, there were also many times that my grandma would sacrifice and do things to make me feel at home. I loved my time in Swan Valley with her and I feel fortunate enough to have the relationship that I do. She is a wonderful person and I have learned much from watching her. She has suffered many hardships. Sometimes I think she's suffered the worst of them, but she stays strong in her testimony and moves forward the best way she can. There are many things I want to do and be because I have seen my grandma do it.
Susan was a large part of my life as well growing up. I spent much time with her and her family. Phillip and she cared for me a great deal and I always felt that. They took me under their wing. It was here that I saw a close family relationship with the father working to provide and the mother teaching her children and serving those in need. I'm grateful for the time I spent watching them and silently learning what kind of life I wanted to live. They blessed me with so many things and I will ever be grateful for the time I have had to spend with them. I love those memories and treasure what we had.
Denise is a wonderful mother figure. She cares for me and my family and it means so much to me. She always checks in on us even though she has her own 8 kids to worry about. She has been an example of getting through hard things and trying your best to do what's right. Her testimony has also been a blessing to me to see her stand true in what she believes. I love my memories of hanging out with her and Bets, sitting on the bed watching TV. Or being outside seeing her garden and getting to talk to her. She has been a great example of how to be kind and easy going with people she meets. Chase's family especially loves her because she always makes them feel cared for and remembered. She does have a great memory and uses that to make people feel remembered. I think that's the word for it and that has blessed so many lives, everyone wants to be remembered. I love getting to spend time with her and feeling her love for me as she inquires about how I'm doing with life. I love that I get to have a closer relationship with her than an average niece.
Arla has been such a wonderful example to me as well. When Chase and I first got married I didn't think she liked me much so I felt awkward spending time with his family. I shared this with Chase and he said that his mom and I were so similar. She was thinking the same thing about me! We finally got over that and have had a wonderful relationship. I feel her and Lee's love so much and know that they care so much for me. They really make the point to help me see that they care for me and see me as their child. This has meant so much to be because sometimes I feel lost and need to feel like I have a family that supports me in anything I need. My own family is small and my mom hasn't had a lot of opportunity to serve me since I've been older (I wonder if I haven't give enough opportunity in ways that she's been able). So it has been HUGE for me that Arla tries to make me feel like I'm one of her own. She is so happy to spend time with us and give to us in ways that she can. I see her work so hard and care for so many. She has also been a wonderful example of testimony.
My own experience as a mother is my joy. I love having Cole's sweet spirit in our home. He has given to me in so many ways. I love his love for me and always say that the love a parent has for a child is inexpressible. I honestly can't express the love I have for him. There are hard times and times that I just want to forget (maybe I do). But more than anything I love being THE PERSON. I love that I'm the person Cole goes to when he needs something. I love that I'm the person that makes him feel safe and comforted. I love being the person that knows him better than anyone. I love being the person that gets to get him out of bed and sing him to sleep. I love being the person that he lights up to see and is sad to see go. I think one of my needs is to feel like I belong and to feel like I have a place. Being a mother and wife has made me feel that. My purpose and roll is different when I have Cole to teach and care for and Chase to support and be a companion to.
My little family really brings me so much happiness.
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