This Last Week

This last week has been a really hard one. Chase has been gone and it has felt like ages! I looked at our wall today with our Burbank sign and I thought to myself, "Am I really married? Do I still have a husband?" It's been hard and long but we're on the downhill so it's ok. This morning as I was laying looking at our wall it's because I was feeling sick. The last thing I wanted to do was change Cole's poopy stinky diaper, or even play with him. I felt lightheaded and just plain sick. Luckily that has past and I am feeling better.

On Saturday, Cole and I drove to Cheyenne for a cousins high school graduation celebration. It was so good to see family and be with other people. Who knew that human (adult) interaction was so crucial to a stable mentality. We stayed over that night and drove home so that I could get to church the next morning.

Back up. Saturday night I got a call from Adam saying that my mom was in the hospital. Her bishop and his wife took her in because her leg was looking really bad and infected. (About 2 years ago my mom had cellulitis in her leg and it hasn't completely healed. She was hospitalized then as well). I guess I just thought it was minor and glad she would get some medical help before it got worse. What I didn't realize is that it was already worse. I arrived just in time for my ward's sacrament meeting. I sat listening to the ward announcements, things I would want to tell Chase later when I looked at my phone and had missed a call from Adam. I listened to the message and my heart sunk! "Mom is in the ICU at the LDS hospital. She collapsed in the shower, her blood pressure dropped too fast. She's not responding." I tried hard to get it together. I had been in touch with my aunt susan who was wanting to know which hospital my mom was in. I immediately called her to update her and let out a little emotion. I sat in the foyer and prayed that I could take the sacrament and that everything would be ok. I went home after that as I was too emotional to handle 3 hours of church. Cole was whining a bit which frustrated me because I needed to be the one to have my emotional melt down and communicate things I needed to those I was in contact with. I came home to an empty house and just waited. I found out that the truth was that my mom was in and out of consciousness and that she had lost a lot of blood. She received a blood transfusion and heavy antibiotics. She indeed has cellulitis again but this time the infection has spread to her whole body. They got her stabilized and Adam and Susan were able to go in and see her. She was on a heavy pain killer so her speech was slurred and it took a lot of work to think. Susan let me talk to her over the phone and that was a relief. It's so hard not being close enough to run over but a blessing to have family who can. Susan kept me informed on everything and let me know what doctors and nurses had discussed with her. Adam tried too but missed out a lot of details. My mom has had a bad stomach ache the last few weeks and they believe she has some internal bleeding somewhere in the digestive system (She had lost a lot of blood/hence the blood transfusion). Tomorrow they will do a scope to try to find out where exactly.